Okay.

I feel irrationally (and stupidly) stressed about the National Television Awards.
In my head I have a small list of things that MUST win in that category or the world will implode:
1) TOP GEAR MUST WIN. Because Jeremy Clarkson deserves to be Prime Minister, frankly.
2) DOCTOR WHO MUST WIN. Because it's the last year the the dream team will be able to go up and collect the award (even if most of them have been stolen by LA. If they win they better be back.)
3) DAVID TENNANT MUST WIN. Because he's THE DOCTOR. And he's AMAZING.

So. If they don't win, expect me to be very upset and angry. I think it's kind of funny I expect anyone to be interested in this =]

In any other world, You could tell the difference.

I suspect that this has been one of those weeks where I'll look back and think: "Yep, that was a decider."

It has been a tough week. Most nights I've been too exhausted to cry myself to sleep, even though that's what I've wanted too do.

School is hard. And I was really, really considering quitting and going for this job at my Dad's old company. £13,000 a year and my Mum said she'd get me a flat if I took it. Tempting. Horribly, horribly, tempting...

So yesterday I had totally hit this brick wall, and I just thought: "I cannot do this for two years." this being homework, being living for the weekends and merely suviving Monday thru Thursday, being tired all the time. Then, I reconsidered.

I am not a quitter. I really am not. I don't have a history of giving things up because they're too hard. It's not how I was raised. It doesn't conform with my "What Would [insert current faevourite book character here] Do?" way of thinking.

So I'm not gonna quit because I have a bit too much work.

Then, I had bad news about a family member. That knocked me for six, and I'm not hugely ready to deal with it all yet.

But, on the upside, I'm going to Russia. Real Russia. The Russia of my imaginings. The Russia of my childhood dreams. In March, with my school.

So.

Stress, sadness and joy. It has been a tiring week.